BRYAN OLLER, THE GAZETTE Mothers in an exercise group called Baby Boot Camp work out with babies in tow along the trail in Cottonwood Creek Park in June. There are mothers groups for Christians and others with no religious affiliation, groups for working moms and stay-at-home moms of all ages.

Rona Whiting, 38, remembers listening at the top of the stairs as her twin babies wailed through the night. Sometimes, Whiting felt so helpless and incompetent that she broke down and cried with the girls.

“You feel so bad just letting them scream,” Whiting said.

Beaty Nelsestuen, 31, worked as a customer service manager for Bed, Bath and Beyond until two days before her daughter, Anika, now 2, was born. As a new mom she often thought up excuses to leave the house for a change of scenery.

“The part you miss is seeing adults every day,” Nelsestuen said. “You wake up in the morning and try to figure out where you can go.”

Like many mothers in Colorado Springs, these two women looked to mothers’ support groups for understanding. Eight years ago, Whiting joined Colorado Springs Parents of Multiples, a group of mothers and a few fathers raising twins or triplets. Nelsestuen heard about MOMS Club from her sister-in-law, who belonged to an Atlanta branch, and she joined MOMS Club Colorado Springs — West Chapter when her daughter was 6 months old.

There’s no way to know how many moms groups there are in Colorado Springs, much less how many moms join them.

What’s more certain is why mothers join. Some stumble across group Web sites and form online friendships by posting to Internet bulletin boards. Other moms hear by word of mouth about an exercise group or a cluster of women meeting at a certain park every week for play dates.

Conversation at most gatherings centers around “mom stuff” — breast-feeding, discipline styles or sibling rivalry.

There are mothers groups for Christians and others with no religious affiliation, groups for working moms and stay-at-home moms of all ages.

Membership changes frequently, a consequence of children reaching school age and the itinerant nature of many military and corporate families.

“We’re all in stages of our lives where friends move away because husbands get new jobs,” Nelsestuen said.

“Especially in a group of stay-at-home moms, because the dad’s job becomes pretty important.”

Other groups are born of politics. As elections approached in 2004, Democrat Maida Carpio Scott, 36, said she felt like an outsider within Colorado Springs Moms, a group that she described as pro-Bush.

When the group split, Scott created a new club. The Web site for West Side Moms lists the following guidelines for would-be members:

“Do you recycle? Do you like to read The Independent? Have you ever shopped at Mountain Mama’s or Wild Oats? If you’ve seen The Daily Show, do you just love it?”

Affirmative answers aren’t necessary to join, Scott said, but she thinks potential members should know that most moms in the group would answer yes.

At a recent play date in Thorndale Park off West Uintah Street, about 10 West Side Moms members pushed older children on swings, breast-fed, and held kids in baby slings.

West Side Moms member Julie Groat, 33, said she was relieved to find a group that did not require a statement of faith, as MOPS and other Christian organizations often do. She said of the practice, “while I am Christian, that irritates me.”

Christian moms groups maintain a large presence in the community — MOPS
International, which accepts members from 60 Christian denominations, has 21 chapters in the Colorado Springs area. According to the MOPS Web site, the number is typical for cities of this size, and national spokeswoman Karen Parks said Colorado Springs is not one of the group’s fastest-growing or most active areas.

First Presbyterian Church runs one of Colorado Springs’ largest MOPS
chapters.

Members pay $60 per three month stint during the school year. Dues cover weekly meetings that include breakfast, day care, speakers and plenty of socializing.

Speakers and discussions are “Biblically-based, but we do not directly try to proselytize,” said group supervisor Kathy Boyles.

Boyles estimates that onefourth of the 240 mothers in the church’s chapter suffer at some point from postpartum or general depression.

“Most women do not recognize it at first. Someone else has to recognize it,” Boyles said of the depression.

She usually directs mothers who seem to be suffering to a therapist.

For moms such as Myra Foster-Smith, 38, finding a niche may take a few tries.

While pushing her daughter, Madison, 4, on a swing at a Colorado Springs Stay at Home Moms play date, Foster-Smith described how she left First Presbyterian’s MOPS chapter for the more secular Colorado Springs Moms.

In that group, Foster-Smith and Madison, who was 3 at the time, enjoyed
Bunco games and sleepover parties until the organization broke up because of infighting. Two years after joining her first moms club, Foster-Smith hopes Colorado Springs Stay At Home Moms will be a perfect fit.

“I’ve taken a lot from every group, whether it’s a positive thing or a negative thing,” Foster-Smith said. “My biggest concern is just letting my kids make some new friends.”

CONTACT THE WRITER: 476-4893 or akindergan@gazette.com